forget

41. We may say that one of the principal causes of our lack of humility is that we forget too readily the sins we have committed. We only think of our sins when we are preparing for Confession, and even then we only think of our sins in order to sum up their kind and number, in order to make a valid Confession, but we hardly ever stop to consider their gravity, enormity and malice. And even if we do bestow some slight thought on them, it is only in order to flatter ourselves that our sorrow is sufficient for the validity of our Confession, and what is still more amazing is that we are hardly out of the Confessional when the remembrance of all our sins vanishes, and even the greatest sinner lives in a state of absolute peace, as if he had always led the most innocent of lives. O miserable state! We always retain a vivid remembrance of those insults which we receive from our fellow-men, thereby fostering our resentment; but we do not bear in remembrance those insults which we have offered to God, thereby becoming humble and exhorting ourselves to repentance. What wonder that we do not become humble if we remain oblivious to these urgent motives for humility! Let us remember our sins, not in order that they should make us over-scrupulous, but so as to live in due humility. It is for that same reason that Jeremiah the prophet said that he who does not do penance does not practice humility, because "There is none that saith: What have I done?" [Jer. viii, 6] If we thought well over this, "What have I done?" what have I done in sinning? what have I done in offending God? our hearts would certainly be far more contrite and humble. But few think of this. We call upon the heavens to be astonished at us: "Be astonished, O ye heavens, at this." [Jer. ii, 12] If a nobleman is insulted in some public resort by a low-born menial, the offense is considered great, and an adequate punishment is demanded for such an outrage; and yet it is only a man who has been insulted by another man, a worm that is offended by another worm, nothingness offended by nothingness. But that this worm, this nothingness, should insult the Divine majesty of God apparently causes no dismay. "Be astonished, O ye heavens," but at least let us be ashamed and humble ourselves for our insensate hardness of heart.