117. Have you perhaps a conscience which is timorous by reason of many scruples? If such be the case, examine yourself, and you will probably find that the true reason of your scruples lies in your self-love, that is, in your pride.
You are indocile, and you do not know how to submit to that which your directors tell you to do; and St. Thomas teaches that this is an effect of pride, "because docility is the beautiful daughter of humility and disposes the soul to obedience." [2a 2æ, qu. xlviii; et qu. xlix, art. 3 ad 4]
How is it when we read the lives of the Saints we do not find that they were agitated by these scruples? The Saints were humble, and where humility is there also is tranquillity of mind. We know that many scrupulous persons have been cured of their scruples, which were considered almost incurable, by no other means than by saying to God with their whole heart: "I accuse myself of pride; I am sorry for my pride, and I ask Your help in order to amend my great pride."
But if you find that you are scrupulous less from indocility than from cowardice, go for advice once more to St. Thomas, who teaches that this cowardice also comes from pride, because in judging one's own sufficiency we set our own judgment in opposition to that of others. [2a 2æ, qu. cxxxiii. art. 1]
Do you wish to enjoy the peace of a quiet conscience, and also of certain spiritual consolations which are a great help in aiding you to do willingly all that is necessary to lead a devout life and to be ever more fervent in the service of God? I cannot give you better advice than this: Give yourself to humility, and God will fill your soul with ineffable consolation. "And my spirit hath rejoiced," says the Blessed Virgin in her canticle; and she adds, for your instruction, that this exultation was sent to her by God because of her humility: "Because He hath regarded the humility of His handmaid." [Luke 1, 48]
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