self-esteem

123. We have to practice two kinds of humility to all our neighbours-----one is of knowledge, the other of affection. The humility of knowledge consists in recognizing and holding ourselves in our inmost soul to be inferior to all, and that is why Jesus Christ advises us in His gospel to take the lowest place: "Sit down in the lowest place." [Luke xiv, 10] He does not tell us to sit down in a place in the middle, nor in one of the last, but in the last; that is we ought to have such an opinion of ourselves that we must esteem ourselves inferior to all, as St. Bernard exclaims: "That thou shouldst take thy seat alone and least of all, not only not putting thyself before others, but not even daring to compare thyself with others." [Serm. 37 in Cant.]
The reason is that you do not know but that those whom you deem inferior to yourself, and above whom you exalt yourself, may not be far more dear to God, and be placed hereafter at the right hand of the Highest.
The truly humble man believes that everyone is better than himself, and that he is the worst of all. But are you really humble like this in your own opinion? You easily compare yourself with this one and that one, but to how many do you not prefer yourself with the pride of the Pharisee: "I am not as the rest of men." [Luke xviii, 11] When you prefer yourself to others it often seems as if you speak with a certain humility and modesty, saying: By the grace of God I have not the vices of such an one: By the grace of God I have not committed so many grievous sins as such an one. But is it really true that you recognize that you owe all this to the grace of God, and that you give Him the glory rather than to yourself? If you esteem yourself more highly than such an one, and if he in his turn esteems himself inferior to you, he is therefore humbler than you, and for that reason better. If by the grace of God you are chaste, charitable and just, you must endeavour by that same grace to be humble as well. And how can you be humble if you have such an abundance of self-esteem, preferring yourself to others?
When St. Paul teaches us that in holy humility we must believe all others to be better than ourselves, he also teaches us the way to accomplish this, namely, not by considering the good we have in ourselves, but that which others have or may have, "each one not considering the things that are his own, but those that are other men's." [Phil. ii, 4] Upon this St. Thomas founds this doctrine that all the evil that is in man, and is done by man, comes from man, and all the good that is in man and is done by man comes from God; and he says that for four reasons we may unhesitatingly affirm that everyone is better than we are.
The first reason is to consider in our hearts what really belongs to us, namely, malice and wickedness, and to consider what our neighbour possesses that is of God, namely, his innumerable benefits. The second is to consider some particular good quality which that person may have and which we have not. The third is to recognize some fault in ourselves which that other person has not. The fourth is to possess a wise fear that there may be some secret pride within us which corrupts our holiest actions, and that we may be mistaken in the opinion we have of ourselves, imagining ourselves to be virtuous when we are not. [2a 2æ, qu. clxi, art. 3 in 4; dist. 25, qu. ii, art. 3 ad 2]