39. It is most humiliating
to reflect upon this, that even though we be exempt from grave sins, yet,
through some secret disorder within us we may be as guilty as if we had
committed them. For if pride arises in our hearts and leads us to consider
ourselves better than those who have committed these sins we are
at once rendered guilty and worse than they in the eyes of God, because, as the
Holy Ghost says, "Pride is hateful before God."
[Ecclus. x, 7] St. Luke, in his Gospel, [Luke xviii, 11] records two different
kinds of vanity shown by the Pharisee, one when he praised
himself for the sins he did not commit, the other when he praised
himself for the virtues that he practiced: and he was equally
condemned for each of these vain utterances. He apparently referred all the
glory to God when he said: "O God, I give Thee thanks." But this was
only ostentatious self-esteem. It is only too easy for these thoughts of
vain-glory to insinuate themselves into our hearts: and who can assure me that
I am not guilty of many of them? "What I have done openly I see," I
can say with more truth than St. Gregory, " but what I have inwardly felt I
do not see." [Lib. 9, Mor., c. 17] O my God, my God, "let no iniquity
have dominion over me." [Ps. cxviii, 133] Do not let me be dominated by
pride, which is the sum of all wickedness; from my secret sins cleanse me.
Purify me from those sins of pride of which I am ignorant;
"then shall I be without spot." [Ps. xviii, 14] This thought, says
St. Thomas, causes every just man to consider himself worse than a great
sinner: "The just man who is truly humble thinks himself worse because he
fears lest in that which he seems to do well he should grievously sin by
pride." [in suppl. 3 part. qu. 6, art. 4]
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